Searching for Hope.

I've been speaking for a few days now. I get only an hour of words a day. I sound like I have laryngitis or something and I can only make a quiet sound.

It's pretty discouraging. During my 17 days of silence, it almost seemed easier to be hopeful. I had no choice to be hopeful, really. Now that I can talk and it's challenging to talk, I'm struggling. Because I'm posed with this very tangible reminder of the condition of my vocal cords, it's hard to stay hopeful for healing. 

I have faith. I am so assured of God's power. But when it hurts to make even just a quiet sound, I easily find myself being discouraged. When I remind myself of Jesus' sovereign control, I find so much peace. But doubt and fear easily creep back in.

I am being humbled. Usually, on my own, I can conjure up feelings of joy or hope but I am learning that only Jesus can provide me with that. Apart from Him, I can do nothing and I am experiencing what that really means.

I have been subtly reminded that no matter the outcome, God will work all things together for my good. Please pray for me to be strengthened in my faith and my hope and continue to pray for my healing.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28