Fall.

Lately I've been feeling completely attacked by the enemy. My thoughts were running wild with anxiety and I couldn't rest in God's peace. I literally felt heaviness in my body. Thoughts of "How will this work out?" "What if...?" pervaded my mind. The enemy was and is out to get me and is trying to knock me down. That all became literal yesterday. 

After soliciting tons of prayer and resolving to let go of my anxieties, yesterday was a day of joy and peace. I set out to go for a run and was about 1/3 of a mile from home when I realized how light I had felt that day and wanted to thank God. As soon as I started praising Him--literally the same instant--I fell. Hard. Not one of those trips where you somewhat catch yourself. No, mine was a tumble at full force, stopped by my hands. But I was falling at such force I somehow ended up falling onto my hands, rolling onto my right side, and onto my back. I can only imagine what it looked like. 

I laid on the ground for a second processing what happened. A lady came out from a business, stunned, asking if I was ok. I got up and surveyed my clothes and my body. Somehow neither my yoga pants nor my favorite purple running jacket (even though it had been covering my hands) were ripped. My legs were fine, my hands were a little scraped and my pinky was bleeding, but I was basically unharmed. I thanked the woman then took off running because I didn't want to start crying in front of her.

Tears brimmed, threatening to pour out, as I ran away. All I wanted to do was run home, cry to Angelique, and feel bad for myself. But I felt like I needed to keep going. So I did.

And as I kept running, I sensed what a profound thing had just happened. The enemy literally knocked me down. Right as I started thanking Jesus, he flattened me. And he tried to defeat me. But I was prompted to keep running (now I know by the Holy Spirit) as an act of victory, as an act of fighting. Jesus spoke to me about how what I had done by getting up and running was a representation of what I'm supposed to keep doing. 

The enemy literally knocked me flat but God kept me unharmed and gave me the power to overcome, to keep running. As I ran, I felt God fill me with the thought that I have to keep fighting. Although the enemy will try to knock me down, I have to get up and keep fighting. God will give me strength and He wants me to keep fighting for victory. Because victory is His and His alone to give. And I don't need to fear because even if I am knocked down physically or emotionally, God is on my side and will keep fighting for me. Praise the Lord for His unconditional love.

Please pray for me as I continue to fight this battle. Pray for strength, for restoration, but mostly for victory. Because victory is His to joyfully pour out. And I know He will.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33